Grey Matters

Grey may not be a favorite color with most… a mix of the 2 most staid colors – Black n White- may not be the perfect idea of a style statement. But in life, Grey is probably the most dominant color. I m talking about the situations to which our responses are grey… nahi samjhe…?

A bad habit which most of us (including me of course!) have is to live life according to others’ diktats… society is the most important thing here… how many times in a day do u think ‘wat will he/she think?’… or ‘wat is his/her opinion about me?’… I think like this a number of times in a day… coz that’s how I have been trained in life… The mental conditioning of a kid in India is probably done in such a way that he is born with a ‘right-wrong’ rule book which ought to be followed life long. And when the kid grows up and realizes that things are never black or white (if at all he does realize!) he is too well conditioned to rebel against the rule book.

So who decided what is right and what is not… who made the rule book? Frankly, it seems that we r in a catch 22 situation: society made the rules for the society, thereby ensuring full compliance. But then, if WE ourselves have made the rules over the generations, then we ourselves should have the right to change them with the times na. Fodder for thought definitely…!!!

We have so many rules to live by:
1) Thou ought not to use study time for sports/artwork/dance/singing. Study time is for study only, extra curry is just that… EXTRA.
2) Thou ought not to make a career out of anything other than Science/Commerce/Math. Most artists and sportsmen don’t earn enough to feed even their own stomachs… so thou will not find a spouse for thyself.
3) Thou ought to have a professional degree… only that will ensure thou a good job.
4) Thou are a girl, thou studies will ensure thou a good spouse and thou needs to be a PRO at housework as that will distinguish thou from boys. Thou ought not to make the 1st move with a guy… thou will be labeled badly.
5) Thou ought to marry a girl/boy of thou parents’ choice. The girl/boy in question shall be of the same Religion & caste & community & village & social standing & education & (o my god, it doesn’t end!!!)….

(The list is neither exhaustive, nor totally experienced by me… but I guess these are the most commonly faced ones… )

In a society like ours, it is very difficult to be a rebel. U find urself alone with even people u care for on the opposite side. But then, when will all this change…? The key is to make decisions u feel like making and then have the courage to STAND BY THEM. Being responsible for ur own actions, whether they turn out well in the end or not, is the sign of strength of character. It is never wrong to admit that what you did didn’t turn out well… but at least… be strong enough to admit that whatever happened was because of YOU urself… A lot of people probably think that strength of character means defending everything they do whether it turns out well or not… but isn’t that actually cowardice? Grey matter stands for intelligence… so why always think in black or white… be grey and love it…!

I have lived too much according to the rule book… time to shut it n start writing another book… not of rules, but the things life has to offer if u just open ur eyes to see… !!!