Pink or Blue?

‘The Namesake’ by Jhumpa Lahiri begins with a pregnant Ashima being taken to hospital for her first delivery. The nurse on duty, Patty, asks “Hoping for a boy or a girl?”

“As long as there are ten finger and ten toe,” Ashima replies.

I have been married for some time now and I always get blessings from my elders that I would cradle a baby boy in my arms soon. And each time someone blesses me so I wonder, why don’t they just pray that I be blessed by a healthy baby soon? Why only boy?

Maybe, in 2010 AD, where men and women are considered at par, the concept for this post might appear very outdated. But trust me, even today, girls and boys are discriminated in a lot of ways. The reason this is not so noticeable is probably coz we are so used to it by now!

I remember around 3 years back a colleague of mine was distributing sweets in office as he had just become the father of a baby girl. It was his first child and he was quite overjoyed. But then I overheard something which another colleague told him: “Yaar abhi to tujhe darna padega”.

“Kyu?”

“Arre paise jodne padenge na dahej ke liye”!!!

“Kyu, Apan baitha hai na kamane ke liye… ho jaayega”.

It was shocking to me that, for a 3 day old girl child, her dowry, which would be needed in not less than 18 years hence (which in itself is a social evil), was the topic of concern. And that too for educated office goers!!!

I remember being told when I was a kid that my paternal grandmother would cry every time her daughters-in-law would deliver girls. After my 2 chachis had 4 girls between them, I was born as my parents’ first born. Needless to say, granny opened the floodgates then also. The next year when my brother was born, there was joy all around. Someone to carry the family name forward… finally!!! Today, I am an individual in my own right, earning a salary which keeps me self reliant, living a life independent of the issues which my mom faced in her generation. I think my granny might have been proud of me had she lived to see me now… watsay?

A friend of mine used to always scoff at the idea of parents hoping for boys so that the ‘family name’ may be carried forward… hello… r we Ambanis or Tatas leaving behind huge fortunes… or having made some change in the world that our family name needs to be remembered for posterity…? And anyway, today, with the number of women opting for double surnames after marriage or just continuing with their maiden names, family name is definitely an outdated concept!

I recently saw a news report on honor killings where the general public was being questioned on this social evil. A number of men said that they would be enraged to hear that their daughter/sister had stepped out of the community line. But for the guys, its ok, the slur on the reputation is much smaller it seems…! In today’s day and age, the fact that honor killings take place itself is sad. But to say that the mistake on the part of the girl is bigger than the mistake of the boy reeks of discrimination. Will all this never see an end?

The last time an aunt-in-law blessed me ‘Putr Santan Yog’, I thanked her, but also told her that as long as I have ‘Santan Yog’, I don’t mind if it is a boy or girl. The old lady was stumped… maybe I shldn’t be so blunt (he he…!). But yes, it is high time we changed our beliefs and also made others around us change and believe in the worth of the girl child..!!!