Mom & Dad

June 20, 2010 Sunday, my day began with a friend reminding me to call my Dad and wish him ‘Happy Father’s Day’. Though these umpteen ‘days’ look like a ploy by greeting card companies to make a fast buck, people really feel happy to be called and wished… especially parents. So I took my friend’s advice seriously and called Dad.

Dad was happy I called. He told me something he read in the morning’s paper:

‘85% of kids who call their dads regularly remain happy in their lives, but only 25% of the kids who speak to their moms regularly manage to be happy!’.

This analysis got me thinking. A typical ‘Father’s Day’ type of analysis I must say, but is it true?

I speak to my dad very little as compared to my mom. The situation was similar when I was in hostel. My mom would call n speak to me daily (thanx to the Airtel Free calls in those days!) but dad’s turn would be only once a week or so. And while speaking to dad I would maintain an air of formality, the talk would mainly concentrate on the studies, presentations and the like. Whereas with mom it was possible to discuss everything- roommate problems, food issues, etc…

All our lives, we kids live in awe of our dads, but moms are the ones who are bullied around. When I was a kid I remember how dad would never take action against me for any wrong doing and advise mom to do the disciplining… thereby making her look like a dragon…!!! He he… but still, to get something done by dad, the only passage route available was through mom… get her in n she will manage to get dad to agree…!!!

Today also, I speak to my mom about everything, be it problems at office, work, anything. But when it comes to dad, it is always about how much I am enjoying my work and how life is peaceful. A lot of my guy friends appear to be very pally with their dads. But even they tell me the closeness began only after they stepped into their 20s… earlier, even they were pretty formal with their dads!

So why is it that kids who speak to their dads regularly are happier than the ones who speak to their moms? One theory may be that with moms, we tend to pour out all our sorrows. Though it is believed that sharing sorrows reduces them, in reality I feel the lesser we speak about something painful, the easier it is to surmount them. When it comes to dads, there is always the idea of painting a hunky-dory picture. We end up highlighting the positives, thereby feeling better…!!!

In earlier days when moms were typically stay-at-home and dads went to offices, this distance between the kids and dads was understandable. But in today’s generation, neither the mom nor the dad are at home full time in most cases. So will the closeness to mom and the awe of dad still continue or will, with the changing lifestyles, relationships also change?

I remember the dialogue from Karah Johar’s K3G (its all about loving your parents). It said, baap apne bête se kabhi yeh nahi keh paata ki wo use kitna chaahta hai, aur maa kehti rehti hai, beta sune, ya na sune…!!! Moms have always been more expressive since time immemorial… but dads…

So on the occasion of ‘Father’s Day’ let us all reach out to our Dads… n let us try to make every day a ‘Happy Father’s Day’!!!